by Clive May (clive@cj4386.demon.co.uk)

Chapter 1

Second/Fifth Doctors:  rated U

Doctor Who is copyright BBC

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'But, Doctor?  Why should I want to see it first hand?  It's all here in
the equations.' Adric looked up at the Doctor, genuinely puzzled.

'It will add new dimensions to the experience,' the Doctor explained
patiently.  'It will make those numbers and symbols come alive.  Now come
on.  It's almost time.'

Adric stared after the Doctor.  He shrugged.  What was the matter with the
Time Lord? His skill was almost a match for his own.  Why could he not see
that it really was all there in the equations; Adric could not see what
actually viewing the event could add?

In the corridor the Doctor passed Tegan and Nyssa.  He pointedly did not
notice them, especially Tegan.  She scowled at his retreating back and
warmed up a sarcastic remark.

Nyssa leaned against the wall, pressing her hands to her temples.  'Please
don't,' she implored under her breath.

There had been a lot of bad feeling in the TARDIS of late.  Tegan's usually
light and humorous sarcasm had taken on a new, cruel, biting edge.  Nyssa
found it quite unbearable. The fraught atmosphere was beginning to depress
her.  A vast weariness had settled in her soul, and she longed more and
more to be able to sink back into the harmonious security of the Union. But
that was gone now, beyond even the Doctor's ability to restore.

The doctor, under Tegan's barbs, had simply withdrawn into himself in that
way that she found so distressing.

And as for Adric, he mooned about in a dream, his mind lost somewhere in a
wilderness of numbers that none on the TARDIS could fathom.  Adric went
past in the wake of the Doctor.

Nyssa dropped her hands and straightened.  She touched Tegan's arm.  'Come
on.  You must b there too.  And, Tegan, please try and keep a hold of your
tongue.  This is a special treat he has arranged for us all.'

'Wow!  A special treat!  I can hardly wait.  What will it be this time The
-' She broke off as Nyssa gave her a warning look.  Tegan shrugged.
'Oh, alright! I'll do my best.'

Nyssa reached out to her, and hand in hand they followed the Doctor and
Adric into the console room.

'There!' the doctor was saying as they entered.  He pointed at the scanner
screen.  The screen zoomed in to focus on a star.  'In just a moment - ah,
there it goes!'

The star centered on the screen exploded.  The white intensity of the
supernova blossomed, almost instantly filling the screen.  The Doctor
adjusted the controls and the exploding sun shrank back again as he moved
the point of view back.

Adric watched it, but in his mind's eye he was seeing the equations
unrolling in all their precise exactitude. Tegan and Nyssa, though, were
rapt.  It was not every day you got to see a sun explode right up close.

As the view continued to pull back, a tiny shimmering area of light entered
the field of view from the left of the screen.  It caught the Doctor's
attention; and he shifted the view to centre on it.  The tiny patch
expanded as the screen zoomed in.

Tegan caught her breath.  Her eyes went wide with surprise as the object
resolved itself into the figure of a young woman with long dark hair
standing in space, quite naked, save for a shimmering halo of silver light.
She had a rope of her hair over her right shoulder and was clutching it in
her excitement. She was bouncing up and down in delight at the sight of the
exploding sun.

Tegan and Nyssa both looked to the Doctor for explanation.  He was staring
at the figure of the young woman, a look of shock and surprise on his face.

Surely he's seen a naked female form before?  Tegan thought.  But, no, it
was not that. She could tell from the intensity of his expression that
there was more to this than just the strange sight of a woman standing in
space, watching a sun explode.  You tended to see a lot of strange, odd and
frightening things when you travelled with the Doctor.  This hardly merited
a raised eyebrow.

She looked back at the screen.  The woman inclined her head as if listening
to a quiet voice.  Then she deliberately turned to look in their
direction. A cheeky smile pulled her generous mouth in a wide grin.  Eyes
dancing with amusement, she raised one of her hands and waved gaily at the
screen.

Tegan bent a questioning look on the Time Lord.  'Doctor?'

But the Doctor did not hear her.  He was no longer seeing the picture on
the screen.  His eyes were looking back into another time, another place
and another, earlier self.

Deep inside his mind, an ancient black arrowhead of guilt, almost
forgotten,  began to work itself deeper into his soul.

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Victoria pushed open the interior door and came self-consciously into the
console room.  Jamie watched her from near the central console, which had
just that moment stopped its slow rising and falling.  His eyebrows shot up
at the sight of Victoria.

Victoria ruffled her hands in the pale blue skirt.  It reached only to just
below her knees.  Two tiny spots of pink livened the "english rose"
complexion of her cheeks.

'Well?  Is it suitable?  Not too...daring...do you think?'

At last Jamie found his voice.  'I dinna ken, Miss Victoria.  It -'

At that moment the inner door was flung open and the Doctor rocketed out,
bundling Victoria aside.

'Whatever is the matter, Doctor?' Victoria cried in alarm as she was spun
aside in a twirl of delicate blue material.  But the Doctor seemed not to
have noticed her.  He plunged on by the console, slapping the door lever in
passing, and shot through the half open doors.  Jamie and Victoria both
stared after him open mouthed.

Jamie was first to regain his equilibrium.  He spun and headed for the
doors calling: 'Doctor?  Doctor?  What's the hurry?  Will ye' no wait up a
moment?'

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The Doctor shot out of the TARDIS into a bare corridor painted a pale
green.  He turned right and marched a few steps towards a window at the far
end, stopped looking round a moment, then spun and dashed past the TARDIS
in the other direction.  A second after he had skidded around a corner,
Jamie exited into the passage.

'C'mon, Miss Victoria.  I dinna ken what's up but we'd best get after him,
you ken the trouble he can get into without even trying.'

Victoria stepped primly from the TARDIS.  'It must be important for the
Doctor to forget his manners.' She peered around at the blank corridor
walls and then through the window at the end.  Dark purple clouds banded a
hot pink sky.  She frowned.  'Jamie?  I have the distinct feeling that we
have been here before.  This looks like the -'

At that moment the sound of the Doctor's voice raised in indignation came
to them.  Other voices rose in argument.  The Doctor's voice shot up a
level in volume and indignation.

'C'mon!  This way!' Jamie urged and dashed down the corridor.

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From the very first moment, it was.  It came into existence in the same
instant that everything began.  The how of its coming into being it knew
for its beginning and the knowledge of its beginning were the same event.

The why of its existence it never troubled itself over.  It was enough to
be upon the grand journey of the dream.  To be travelling and to watch the
universe unfold and blossom around it.  It gazed uncritical upon the birth
of the hot young suns, upon their wanton squandering of their brief lives
in an exuberant outpouring of energy, and upon their flaming deaths which
spread the seed of new suns.  It watched these new cooler more conservative
stars, as they formed and crowded together for comfort in the great
blackness to form the first galaxies.

All these wonders it witnessed but the wonder did not touch it as it
journeyed in the dream of being.  It was the primal sentience.  It was
always alone, but not knowing this, was never lonely.

Then it found the friend.

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Chapter 2


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As he rounded the corner Jamie was confronted by the sight of two burly
guards in dark grey uniforms.  They held the Doctor between them, a foot or
so off the ground by the elbows.

'Hey!  Put him down!' Jamie yelled, adding his considerable voice to the
confusion.  He skidded to a halt and found himself the centre of attention.

 In the sudden silence the one on the right with cropped blond hair
commanded: 'You!  Stay where you are!'

Jamie looked from one guard to the other, at the Doctor still struggling
between them, and backed away.

'Stop right there!' the other one, with black hair and hard black eyes,
ordered. He drew a gun with his free hand.

A door opened in the right hand wall of the corridor and a loud voice
bellowed: 'What the Devil's going on out there?'

A tall, thickset man in a white smock stepped out.  He had iron grey hair
and grey eyes which took in at a glance the scene in the passage.

'Well?' he demanded of the two guards.

'Intruders, Sir!' said blond hair.  'All under control now.'

And then he spoiled his assurance by losing his grip on the Doctor, who
took the opportunity to squirm free.  He turned to the man in the smock.
'Ah!  Doctor Manson!  Now perhaps we might get somewhere.'

Dr Manson peered at him.  'Do I know you?'

'Of course you know him, Daddy.'

They all turned at the new voice.  A woman of about twenty five, with brown
hair coiled in a severe bun, stood in the doorway behind Dr Manson.  She
stepped into the corridor and pulled the door shut behind her.

'But Daddy.  This is the Doctor.  You remember, he stayed with us last
year.'

 'I've never seen this man before.' A slight, defensive tone in Dr Manson's
voice made a blatant lie of his words.

'Oh, Daddy!  You must remember, he forgot his notebook and -'

The Doctor cleared his throat.  'Ah yes!  That notebook, I really must have
it you know, I really must.'

'I don't know what you're going on about.' Dr Manson directed his attention
to the two guards.  'Jack.  Lock them in the rest area.  I'll deal with
them later.  I'm too busy right now.'

'But! Daddy!'

His grey gaze fell upon his daughter.  His expression was halfway between
anger and pleading.  She wilted visibly under his stern look.
A crushed expression of defeat covered her face.  It settled into place
fitting itself to her plain features with a look of belonging.

'I have never seen this man before,' he said deliberately. He spun on his
heel and re-entered the room, slamming the door behind him.

'Right you lot.  This way.' Black hair waved his gun.

'Katy?' the Doctor appealed to the young woman.  'Katy?  It's vital I speak
with your father.  I must have that -'

Black hair shoved him in the shoulder.  'Shut up, you!  Down that way.' He
gestured with his gun.

'Katy?  Please?' the Doctor shot back over his shoulder as he was hustled
away.

The young woman glanced nervously at the closed door.  Her brown eyes were
troubled and full of uncertainty.  In the pocket of her white smock her
hand worried at a small calculator.  She bit her lower lip.  She came to a
decision.

'Jack!  Wait!'

The little procession halted.  They all turned to look at Katy.

'It's alright, Jack,' she assured black hair.  'I'll take charge of them.'

'But Miss Manson.  Your father -'

Katy drew herself up, looking more resolute than she actually felt.  'I
said it's alright, Jack.  You can leave them with me.'

Jack considered a moment, then shrugged.  'You're the boss, Miss Manson.
But if there's any trouble -'

'Alright, Jack.  Now!  Back to your duties.  I'll take care of our guests.'

Katy escorted the three of them down the corridor and through the door at
the end.  It gave onto a large room flooded with a brilliant red sunlight.
It poured in through a huge window that stretched the width of the room
along the wall opposite.  The place was full of comfortable looking chairs.
To the right was a small bar counter, but the refreshments were locked
behind a shutter.  To the left a doorway led into a dining area with tables
and chairs set out in neat rows.

'Here we are.  Make yourself comfortable.' Katy waved an arm at the chairs.

Jamie and Victoria went over to the window and looked out on a desiccated
vista of brightly coloured sand and rocks that stretched to a distant
horizon.

The Doctor turned to Katy .  'My dear girl, it is imperative that I have
that notebook back.'

'I'm afraid I do not have it here.'

'What have you done with it?'

'It's in my father's personal strong cabinet along with his other private
papers.  Would you like something to drink?' Katy waved a hand at the bar.

 'No thank you.' The Doctor was almost hopping from foot to foot with
impatience.  'Look!  It is really important that I get that book back
before - well, I really must have it.'

'Before what?' Katy looked at him, her expression an odd mixture of
interest, suspicion, uncertainty and even a little guilt.

without a doubt, this was a sticky situation.  He simply could not explain
about the Time Lords, about who he was.  Even Victoria and Jamie knew
nothing of that.  He had to have that book back and make certain that the
knowledge it contained went no further, or the consequences could be dire,
especially for him.  If the knowledge was put into practice, and he was
beginning to think he was too late in that respect, then they would have
him.  The trail would suddenly be very hot, very hot indeed.  With a lead
like that they would track him down in no time.  The thought of being
dragged unceremoniously back to Gallifrey, probably put on trial, was
intolerable, but was beginning to look inevitable.

The Blinovitch Limitation had meant that he could not get closer to his
original point of departure than this.  If the Blinovitch Limitation was in
play then that meant his first visit here must have had great significance
for the time stream.

But was it his own personal time stream?  Or, more likely, the time stream
of the Universe?

He took out his recorder and blew a desultory tuneless tooting on it.
Jamie and Victoria watched from across the room, both their faces showing
their concern.  They both knew the signs.  There was trouble here, serious
trouble.

The Doctor put the instrument away.  What he needed, he decided, was more
information.

'Has anyone...Ah...Looked through my notebook?'

Katy reddened a trifle.  'Well.  I didn't want to.  It was private, but my
father...'

The Doctor's expression became grave.  He had been afraid of that.
'Eh...Did you find it...Interesting?'

Obviously she had.  She was one of the best temporal engineers of this age,
better even than her father.  The knowledge in that book could not have
fallen into the hands of a person more able to appreciate its significance.

Katy was both eager and ashamed at the same time.  'It was very "advanced".
But once I got the Panocapthic equations worked out...'

The Doctor sighed.  'And I suppose you've not been slow in putting what
you've learned into practice?'

Katy waved a hand.  'This is all here because of your note book.  My father
thought it was a Godsend.  The project was about to fold.  The Council was
going to withdraw funding.  We would have to pack up and go home in defeat.
My father does not like being defeated.  He has never been beaten before.
He put a lot into this project.  It is his whole life now that mummy
is...Well, you can understand why he was the way he was just now.  You
turning up again, and at such a critical moment, was a terrible shock for
him.'

Katy's words came out in a rush.  She was grateful to have this chance to
unburden herself of her feelings of guilt over the book.  And to apologise
for her father's behaviour.

'Please - you must not blame him.  He was a great man once - He still is.
But he was staring at ruin.  That's why he put aside his principles and
used the information in your notebook. He would never have even considered
it otherwise.'

'It's alright, my dear,' the Doctor murmured soothingly.  He sighed.  Well
the damage was done now.  There would be no purpose served in being
 angry at this young woman whom he had grown rather fond of at their last
meeting.

A hidden speaker crackled into life.

'Katy?  We're ready for the jump.  Come to Central Control immediately.'

The Doctor had just run out of time.

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Chapter 3


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Katy looked up with a guilty start.  She began to move towards the door.
'I must go.  My father needs me.'  She sounded flustered.

The Doctor took a firm grip of her arm.  'Katy?  Let me come with you?
I would like to be there.'

She shook her head.  'No.  My father -'

'I must be there!'  The doctor spoke quietly, but with force.

Katy looked desperate.  'Doctor, please!'

The Speaker crackled again.  This time it spoke in Dr Manson's voice.
'Katy?  Where the Devil are you?  We're ready.  Come to Central now!'

Katy was torn between the compulsion laid upon her by the Doctor's voice
and her ingrained submission to her father's will.  She tried to think what
to do.  She froze, locked up by indecision.

Victoria laid a hand on her arm and gazed earnestly into her eyes.
'Please?  Katy?  If the Doctor says it's important, then it really
is...Truly.'

Victoria's quiet assurance tipped the balance.

Katy nodded.  'Alright.  But you must stay out of sight.  My father will be
furious if he finds out.'

The Doctor gave her arm an encouraging squeeze.  'Of course,  my dear.
 Now, let's go.'

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The Doctor slipped unnoticed into the control centre behind Katy.  He
sidled along a wall and positioned himself unobtrusively behind a free
standing cabinet.  His bright eyes darted about the room, taking in the
installations and the attendant technicians.  The equipment was crude, but
he knew that it would work.  He was impressed despite himself at how much
Katy and her father had garnered from the sparse jottings in his notebook.
It seemed a pity to have to sabotage such a splendid effort, but his
freedom depended on it.

The centre of the room was dominated by a large construction like an egg
standing on its blunt end.  Above it, pointing down from the ceiling was a
tapering metal spike.  The egg, which was made of a transparent
material, stood in a metal cup.  From all around the bottom of the cup
thick cables emerged and snaked away among the other equipment.  Inside the
egg was a high backed chair with arms and a control board laid across them.
On one side was a circular hatch which just now stood open with Dr Manson
leaning through it, fiddling with something beneath the seat.

Katy went straight over to him, touching him on the shoulder.  Dr Manson
withdrew himself from the hatch and beamed at his daughter.

'We're almost ready to go, Katy.  It's time you got suited up.' He turned
and spoke to a young woman seated at a desk.  'Try it again, Marshal!'

The woman ran deft fingers over her keyboard.  She spoke a command into
a microphone.  Dr Manson studied something inside the egg, seemed
satisfied, and waved an arm at the woman.

'That's it.  We're ready to go.  Katy?  Are you ready?'

Katy finished pulling on a white padded coverall with wires dangling from
it in various places.  She nodded to her father.  'Ready.' she said and
fastened a last seal.

she clambered inside the egg, settling herself into the seat.  She started
to plug the wires into the control board and fasten straps.

The doctor looked on in growing alarm.  He had only moments to find some
way of stopping this experimental time jump.  If it were made he could say
goodbye to his carefree life of wandering around the galaxy.  He had to do
something.  His eyes darted around the room, his mind racing.  He noticed
one of the technicians pull a microphone to his mouth and speak into it.
Lights on the board flickered and danced.

Audio input!  Yes, that's it!  That might work!  The tune would be the most
difficult and complex one he had ever played on his recorder.  He was not
certain that he could do it; but there really was no other way.

He sidled over to the nearest audio input and put the end of the recorder
right up against the microphone.  Blowing gently, he played a few quiet,
experimental scales.  He was gratified to see the display light up and the
message "Input Command Mode on" flash onto the blue screen in yellow
letters.

A tiny smile of triumph twitched his lips, the Time Lord trace would not
find him this time.  He would remain free.  He began to play his impromptu
symphony of computer song, watching the streams of data flowing over the
screen.  All over the room technicians tensed at their boards as lights
began to blink and flicker in unexpected sequences.

The first the Doctor knew of his discovery was an outraged roar from Dr
Manson.

'YOU!  What the Devil are you doing in here?'

The Doctor ignored the shout.  Heads turned to look at him.  He continued
to play furiously, wiping the memory stores of all data.  He had just
started in on the time displacement control systems when he was roughly
grabbed by one of the technicians.  His recorder let out a long anguished
squeak.  Somewhere in the depths of the equipment a whine sputtered into
being.  It ran quickly up the scale into an ear piercing scream.  The air
hummed and crackled with energy.  It made everyone's hair stand on end.
The spike poised over the egg glowed a bright green.  Fat blue sparks arced
from it.  Where the jagged bolts of energy grounded, equipment exploded
with sharp spatting sounds.

The Doctor's recorder was dashed from his lips.  He found himself staring
into the furious face of Dr Manson.  The man was shaking with rage.  The
Doctor could see a thunderous tirade readying itself, but it was never
delivered.

There was an alarmed shout from one of the technicians.  They all spun to
see an eerie orange glow building up around the egg.  Inside the egg, the
form of Katy was dimly visible through the thickening haze, her face pale,
her eyes wide with fright.  She opened her mouth to cry out, but no sound
came.

Then, with a loud popping sound and a great rush of air that sucked papers
from desks, the egg vanished.

Dr Manson stood there a long moment, his mouth hanging open in stunned
surprise.  Then he came alive and began to snap out orders.

'Shut down that power link.  Recall the capsule.  Emergency retrieval
procedure.  Tracking - get a lock on the capsule.'

The man at the tracking desk was staring blankly at his controls.

'For God's sake man!  Get that tracking beam locked on!'  Dr Manson began
to move towards the stricken tech.  The man glanced at him half shaking his
head.

'It's all dead, sir!  Nothing is working!'

Dr Manson leaned over the desk and began to punch buttons.   he yelled
commands at the audio pick up.  The desk remained lifeless.

'Get me some computer control,' he yelled at the woman named Marshall.
'Get the computer up NOW, woman,  damn it!'

Marshall shook her head.  'It's all gone, Sir! The whole systems been
wiped!'

Dr Manson seemed about to explode, but then a calmness settled over him.
He spun around to the Doctor, who was making an attempt to edge over to the
door in the confusion.

'YOU!' Manson roared.  'You've killed my daughter with your meddling!' He
snatched a gun from one of the security guards who seemed to be everywhere
all of a sudden.  His face twisted with anger an grief.  He raised the gun
and pointed it at the Doctor.

'You've killed my Katy!  My darling Katy!'

'Wait!' cried  the Doctor.  'I can help.  I might be able to find a way to
track her.'

But Dr Manson was not listening.  He aimed the gun very carefully and
pulled the trigger.

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Chapter 4


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Then it found the friend!

It remembered the tiny transparent egg cocooning the stricken mind that
hovered on the edge of the none being, the one state the Shimmereen could
never know.

It had never encountered such a thing before.  But life called strongly to
life.  It understood instinctively that it must strive to preserve the
spark of consciousness that still glimmered, walled within the softly solid
thing.

In its profound ignorance it made mistakes; and many times almost
precipitated the flesh contained being into the nothing, but the Shimmereen
had learned quickly under what conditions the flesh thing would prosper.

The Shimmereen had cradled it, cossetted and succoured it, tended it and
eventually the strange creature had come to consciousness.  'I am Katy!' it
told the Shimmereen as it floated in the delicious langour of the between
state.

But in the instant that Katy came to full wakefulness, remembrance and
realisation thundered through her bruised mind.

Shrieking in terror, her mind fled away into the dark, to cower in black
despair.

The Shimmereen sought her out there, calling to her softly, drawing from
her memory images of security to wrap about the tiny tender thing.  With
gentle words and careful encouragement with profound patience and care it
drew the cringing mind forth into the light.  And in time, the tiny
shrivelled thing blossomed into the friend.

So had begun the joy that was their shared existence.

How the centuries had flown since then, since the finding of the friend.
The forever wandering without purpose had become a journeying of joy.  All
down the long eons of unmeasured time they wandered among the crowding
stars of the universe, their own private garden of delight.

And the stories that Katy told!  They were of moons and stars and a planet
called Earth where Katy had come to birth.  And that this planet would
exist one day in a far far future that Katy had never hoped to see again.

It took energy, vast amounts of energy, for the Shimmereen to maintain the
bodily needs of the friend; but it gave without stint, for the body of Katy
was in constant flux, spiralling ever downwards, dragged on by entropy into
a disorganised chaos that Katy called "old age".  The Shimmereen understood
that Katy without her body would cease to be.  And the Shimmereen would
have crushed a galaxy to put that off.  But put off was all that was
possible.

Katy was not like to itself.  Though the Shimmereen struggled constantly to
maintain the stasis, still there was a creeping change.

It understood that one day the long joy would end.  That it would be alone
and for the first time, profoundly lonely.

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'...And by the time he had realised that the safety catch was on, the
security guard had snatched his gun back.'

'What did you do then?' Nyssa asked, her dark eyes wide.

The Doctor looked away to the sight on the monitor screen before answering.
'There was nothing I could do.  I had wiped the computer system completely
clean.  All the tracking data and systems were gone.  I thought I might be
able to find her in time if I could get back to the TARDIS.  But it took me
a time to talk my way out of the immediate situation.  And when I finally
got away the Chronon trail had dissipated.  I had no way of knowing which
direction the capsule had been projected, or how far, or even if it had
moved spatially as well as temporally.  I searched of course, but it was
hopeless.'

'Hopeless?' Tegan echoed.  There was just the faintest trace of accusation
in her tone.

'I did my best.' The doctor sounded defensive.

Nyssa gave Tegan a hard look, laden with warning.  She knew that the Doctor
would withdraw into himself if Tegan badgered him on this.  She had clearly
read the guilt written in his eyes.

'But you kept on looking?'

The Doctor met Nyssa's gaze, a trifle distant and cool.  'For a while, But
I had other things to worry about.  In the end none of it did any good.
The random nature of the jump did win me a breathing space, but soon after
that I was forced to call in the Time Lords anyway and surrender to them.
I would have kept on looking but the Time Lords exiled me to earth and
disabled my TARDIS.  They forced a regeneration on me and I had to come to
terms with different perspectives and priorities.  I never really forgot, I
never can, but the memory troubled me less and less - it had faded into the
back of my mind, until now!'

He turned to look at the screen again, at the young woman standing against
a filmy backdrop of stars.  Nyssa felt his resurgent guilt.  Her heart went
out to him.

As he watched, a sudden decisiveness came over him.  He turned to the
console and began to set controls.  He had to apologise, to explain.  His
nagging guilt over katy shouted down the little voice which spoke to him of
the irrational nature of what he proposed.

The rotor rose and fell.  The pitch of the TARDIS hum altered.  A moment
later a patch of light appeared in the room.  It thickened and solidified
into the form of Katy.  She was no longer clothed in the silver shimmering.

She stared around in sudden astonishment.  Then her eyes went wide with
fear and horror.  Lifting her hands to her head she screamed out:

'What have you done? You've killed him!  You've killed my darling!'

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The Shimmereen let out a terrible surge of grief and loss.  The nearby nova
flinched away from the powerful blast of emotion.  The friend had gone to
the nothing.  The one place the Shimmereen could not follow.  The one state
of being it could not assume.  And it had happened in an instant.

Their minds had been meshed together, their individual being one
consciousness.  It had been experiencing for her the dark colours that the
friend could not see, showing her in its mind the dazzling beauty of all
the colours of darkness.

And then something had reached out from the blue box and touched the
friend.  And in that instant, she had ceased.  A terrible rage swelled in
the Shimmereen.  The box had ended the joy.

Unthinking in its grief and anger it drew upon the memories of the one mind
it had made with the friend.  And found there a fitting form, a favourite
of the friend, to visit retribution upon the blue box.  In a moment the
anger and grief of the primal sentience took shape against the misty
backdrop of stars.  It gathered all the vast energy available to it,
investing that power in its manifestation.

It launched itself with a vast soundless scream that shook the nearby
stars, and thundered down upon the TARDIS.

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Katy screamed again.  But her voice was drowned in a vast booming and
crashing that reverberated from the walls.  The floor lurched and sent them
all staggering.  From the hart of the TARDIS the gloomy gonging of the
Cloister Bell began to sound.

'What's happening?' Tegan yelled at the Doctor who clung to the console
with one hand while the other flashed over the controls.

'we're being attacked from outside.' His face grew grave at the readings on
the monitor.  'And it's easily powerful enough to rupture the shell of the
TARDIS.  She'll not stand many more blows like that last one.'

'Can't you do something?' Nyssa cried as her grip on the console slipped.
The next moment another shuddering blow struck the TARDIS and she went
spinning away to sprawl headlong over the overturned coat rack.

Tegan screamed wordlessly and pointed at the screen.  Her eyes were wide
with amazement.

On the screen a gigantic knight in silver armour, with a shield and lance,
mounted on a pure white charger was wheeling away, drawing off for another
run at the stricken TARDIS.  From his visored helm a plume fluttered out
behind him.  He wheeled the horse.  The terrible beast pawed at the black
of space and breathed fire.  The Knight lowered his lance, aimed it at the
centre of the screen and urged the steed into a gallop.  He leaned down
over the neck and sighted along his lance.

a hand fell on the Doctor's arm.  He tore his gaze from the screen,
glancing down to see katy staring up at him, her eyes shining with relief.

'Doctor!  He's alive!  He's come to rescue me!  And as my champion, too!
What a romantic old darling he is!'

The Doctor stared at her, his racing mind unable to sift any sense from her
words.

She squeezed his arm, grinning madly at him.  'It's alright, Doctor!  All
you have to do is put me back into the real universe where we can sense
each other.  Once my darling knows I'm not harmed, he will stop.  I
promise!'

The Doctor stared at her with narrowed eyes.  He was not about to risk
putting her back into the violently harsh environment of space, even though
he had seen her standing in it just a few moments ago, quite unharmed.
Even though she was now demanding that he do so.  He felt certain that the
 absence of the silver shimmer would leave her fatally exposed.  What
should he do?  Whatever he did had to be done quickly.  He glanced at the
screen.  The knight was closing with frightful speed.

A compromise surfaced from the racing stream of his mind. He opened a
portal to the outside universe, wondering, as he did so, at the wisdom of
letting such an unknown and powerful life form into the TARDIS.

The Doctor flipped a last switch just as the point of the lance smashed
into the scanner screen.  Instead of the expected concussion they had all
braced themselves for, there was a great flash of silver light and the air
before the scanner swirled and scintillated with a snowstorm of silver
stars.  They coalesced into the form of the gleaming knight on the white
charger.

As they all stood transfixed, the knight dipped the point of his lance to
Katy in salute.  A silver fire flowed from it and surrounded her with a
glowing nimbus.

then the knight swung the lance around and aimed it right at the Doctor's
heart.

The Doctor shot Katy a desperate look full of a sudden uncertainty.  But
her eyes were on the knight, her expression dreamy.  She clapped her hands
in delight.

the knight spoke in a ringing voice, noble and fine, and yet still holding
a hollow quality that hinted at dry and dusty centuries.  'You have but to
sign your pleasure, My Lady - ere I shall despatch this villain to his just
reward.  My lance is ever eager to serve your slightest whim.  The word,
fair damsel?  What is your pleasure?'

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Chapter 5


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The Doctor took a step back; he did not like the way this was going.  But
Katy only laughed, a merry sound full of amusement and fond regard.

'Oh!  What a wonderful old romantic you are!' She clapped her hands again
in delight and set her head on one side.  A strange, un-focused quality
passed through them, and upon the instant the knight dissolved into a
glittering silver mist.  It swirled and eddied around the console room,
brushing Adric, Tegan and Nyssa each in turn, bringing a startled look to
their faces.

Adric's expression reformed into one of profound wonderment.  In his mind
the number one glowed with a silver light.  He had never understood just
how beautiful that one single number could be, how significant.  It was the
beginning point of all mathematics.  From it flowed the entire world of
numbers, the world in which Adric walked, marvelling at the beautiful
precision of the constructs.  It was not only the landscape through which
he walked, but his life.  And it all began with the concept of one!

In the instant he saw this, the Shimmereen touched his mind again, and
showed him a new way of seeing.

At that touch he understood what he had not seen before.  Mathematical
equations were not the world, they were but a pale and wanting evocation.
For the first time he was moved to look beyond the numbers, past the
precise patterns to the true life they sought to describe.  And he saw that
this reality, too, had beauty.  And, he now knew, a quality beyond the
numbers that, though contained within their bounds, could not be
constrained, contained nor described by them in any meaningful sense.

With eyes full of a new wonder Adric stepped from among the crowding
equations and into real life.  His nerve almost failed, realising the depth
of the loss of control this represented. But he was no coward. He set forth
to explore this new dimension with a resolute step.

Tegan's twisted into terror.

She was no longer in the TARDIS.  Now she stood in a blank nothing filled
up with a dark intensity.

It was all around her, formless, insubstantial and frightening. It had a
name.  It was fear -  and the fear of fear.

Wherever Tegan looked it thickened into an image of terror.  She could not
face it. Before her terror had become more than a dark ripple in the fear
walling her in, she averted her eyes.

Her heart was hammering in her chest and she could not breath.  But, if
only she did not have to face it, then she might have a chance!

'If you refuse to look upon it, Tegan, then how will you know it for what
it is?'

The question formed in her mind.  It had no voice but was made of security
and reassurance, like a memory of her mother's arms about her.

'I can't!' she wailed hopelessly, averting her gaze from the swelling
pulsing shadow.  'It's too strong.'

'The strength is yours, Tegan. It is strong only because you are strong.
Now turn - and behold your worst fear! If you do not face it how can you
know that you cannot?'

The darkness was gathering again.  Tegan clenched her hands into fists of
resolution.  Her heart pounded in her chest.  But her muscles would not
obey and her head began to turn aside.

'Brave heart! Tegan!' whispered the presence inside her head. It sounded
just like the Doctor.

A strong sense of betrayal and shame surged within her.  The wilting
 resolve stiffened.  The Doctor knew well her shortcomings, knew that she
was not the bravest of people, and yet he had always shown that he had
confidence in her.  That little phrase was his way of showing his regard.

This time she did not turn her head aside.  The sense of fear swirled
before her, taking form and focus from her mind.  It settled lovingly
 into the shape of a gigantic snake on a leash.  The thin cord was held by
a pale skinned man who watched her with black eyes full of contempt. The
man ostentatiously loosed the lead and gestured to the snake.

'She is yours!  Body and soul!   Take her!'

The Mara coiled closer.

Tegan clenched her teeth and fought not to look away, knowing that if she
did then it would truly possess her, entirely and for all time.

Tegan stood her ground, trembling,  but resolute.   The giant snake looped
its fat coils about her.

Help me!' she pleaded with the presence.  'Pleas god!  Help me!  Stay with
me - don't leave me alone with this!'

'I am here, Tegan.  But this is your struggle, you must win the prize of
your freedom by your own hand.  All else is a gift granted by others and
not yours by right.  Take the victory, Tegan.  Win free of this tyranny
else it shall surely pull you down into darkness.'

Fine words, Tegan thought bitterly.  I need fine words like I need a hole
in the head.

The coils contracted about her body, crushing the breath out of her.

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Chapter 6


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

...Her breath, but not her spirit.

Tegan laughed.  It was a good sound.

'That's the way, Tegan.  Laugh at your fears.  There is no finer weapon
against them.  Laugh!  Tegan!  Laugh and be free!' The mind in her mind
encouraged her.  She thought she detected an approving smile in it.

Tegan laughed out loud.  Suddenly there was no sense of constriction, no
crushing pressure, squeezing the life out of her.  It was become the
lightest caress, like the touch of smoke upon her skin.  And just as
harmless.

Greatly daring, she reached up and stroked the ugly triangle of head,
gazing into and through the black eyes.  Beyond the dark surface she caught
the sight of sunlight flashing from an airliner as it banked in a vast blue
emptiness.  The vision sent her heart leaping with joy.

And she was back in the console room, feeling easier in her mind than she
had since Deva Loka.

Nyssa's face positively glowed with a sad serenity, her eyes wide, and
growing wet with tears.

'what's the matter with Nyssa?' Adric asked laying a hand on her shoulder.

Tegan put a hand on her arm.  'Nyssa?  Are you alright?' She studied her
friend's face, touched by the look of sad serenity, the eyes shining with
tears.  Tegan shook her gently.  'Nyssa?'

Nyssa blinked and surfaced from a great depth.  The trance like set to her
features cleared from her face.  She turned such a look of bewildered
disbelief on Tegan that it made Tegan's heart clench.

'So alone,' she whispered.  'So long alone.'

Tegan slid a comforting arm about her and gave her a friendly hug.  'Are
you alright?'

'Yes.  Now I'm alright.  Now it will be alright, for all time.  It - the
Shimmereen has filled up the hole in the centre of my being.  It
understands about being alone. It has great compassion and has put away the
emptiness that was left inside when the Union died.  I feel whole again.
For the first time since ...  since the Union was broken.' She turned her
brown eyes brimming with gratitude upon Katy.  'The Shimmereen has made me
whole again.'

Katy beamed.  'He finds great satisfaction in putting sadness from the
world.  I think he must have caught it from me.  I could never stand to see
people unhappy.'

Nyssa looked from the naked woman to the Doctor and then Adric, suddenly
struck by the impropriety.  She spun and went to the clothes rack lying by
the wall.  She picked up one of the heavy cloaks that had been adorning
it's wooden arms.  Hurrying over to the woman she held it out to her.  Katy
looked at it in puzzlement for a moment.  Then she looked around, at the
Doctor, at Adric and a small smile turned up her lips.

'Oh yes.  It's been so long - one forgets about these things.'

She nodded and allowed Nyssa to slip the cloak about her.  Nyssa stepped
back and observed the result, making certain the edges were closed at the
front, then with her sense of propriety satisfied, she went to stand by
Tegan.

'Why a white night?' asked Tegan, Struggling to control the width of her
grin.  Her face muscles seem to have gained a will of their own.  She could
not stop smiling.

Katy looked embarrassed.  That's my fault.  I used to love stories of
castles and knights and rescuing damsels in distress.  The Shimmereen
assumed the patterns from my mind.  Our mind really, after so long  I have
great difficulty now telling if a thought is mine or his any more.'

She gestured with a hand.  The silver shimmer about her rippled and the
cloak reformed into a flowing medieval robe of green silk.  A tall white
wimple grew up from her brown hair on the back of her head.  Her brown eyes
sparkled.  'There now.  I am dressed the part.'

The silver mist collected itself into a shining sphere.  It hovered a
moment over the console, before sinking and spreading over the rotor and
controls.  It covered the surface in a scintillating mist.  Then it sank
out of sight.

A ripple of activity ran over the indicators.  The hum of the TARDIS
changed pitch.  The light dimmed and came up again.  Images began to race
over the monitor screen, blurring into a continuous stream of colours.

In sudden alarm the Doctor sent his fingers dancing over the buttons and
switches.  When nothing happened, he frowned in consternation and  looked
hard at Katy.

'What is it doing?' he demanded.

She smiled dreamily at him.  'Oh.  It's nothing to worry about.  He's just
chatting with your TARDIS.  They're getting on famously.'

Inside his head, the Doctor felt something powerful yet gentle penetrate
his mind.  It felt around, then seized the black arrowhead of guilt
inscribed with the name Katy Manson that had buried itself deep in his
soul.  Without any warning, it wrenched it free and swallowed it. The
sudden pain was awesome.  But it died almost before his mind could
appreciate it.

He drew a slow breath, aware that a shadow had been lifted from him.  He
felt better than he had in a long time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Your feelings of guilt are understandable, but they were misplaced.  Your
blunder at the project was the best thing that could have happened to me.
My father totally dominated my life.  He used every trick of emotional
black mail to get his way after mummy died.  It was the one weapon I had no
defence against, and he knew it.  He played on it without mercy.  He really
was not a very good man.'

'But he did love you, Katy,' the Doctor assured her.

'In his way, I suppose.  But he was a tyrant, albeit a gentle one.  After
mummy died he wrapped me in cotton wool.

My father would not let me live my own life.  If you had not happened to me
I would have lived out my useless sterile little life and grown
frustrated and bitter.'

'The poor man,' Nyssa sympathised.  'He lost everything, the project, you,
everything.'

Katy smiled at her 'Not yet he hasn't I intend to visit him on the day
after the accident.  I have no idea how far that is in the future, but the
Shimmereen has assured me that he can hold me together for at least that
long.' She gave the Doctor a mischievous glance.  'But even if my darling
can't hold me together for long enough, it doesn't matter now.  He's been
chatting to the TARDIS and poking around inside the Matrix.  He says that
the trick of travelling in time is not too difficult for one such as him.'

The Doctor looked startled.  He flicked a few controls.  He tapped a finger
to his chin.  'They won't like that on Gallifrey,' he mused.  'Alien minds
rummaging around in their sacred little box.'  He smiled without sympathy.

'Oh.  I doubt if they will know.  My darling can be very discrete when he
wants.'

Katy cocked her head on one side in that habitual listening pose.  The
dreamy look in her eyes clouded with doubt.  'Gallifrey?  Must we?  Oh
dear!  It sounds a dreadfully dull place.  But, you promised to show me the
rainbow clouds of Morn.  You will?  Afterwards? What an old sweetie you
are!'

and with that she vanished from the console room.

The heavy cloak folded itself into an untidy heap on the floor.  Smiling
broadly Nyssa stooped and gathered it up.  She held it against her.  She
listened to the contented hum of the TARDIS and felt the "atmosphere" with
her empathic sensitivity.  It felt good.  She looked around at the smiling
faces.  They were all aware of the new lightness, too, in their own way.

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The End.