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Clive May

'And how are we today, Tegan?'

'Mmmfff!!'

The Doctor took off his hat and squatted on the yielding surface of the
floor.  'Good...Good...Ah?'

'Mmmmffff!!!' said Tegan.

The Doctor took a bundle of envelopes from his pocket.  'I've brought your
mail - as you're all tied up just now, would you like me to read it to
you?'

'Mmmmffff!'

'Right then!'  The Doctor selected an envelope.  'I'm afraid they do all
seem to be bills.  Right.  This one's from Janet Reager.  Apparently there
is an amount due of...Really, Tegan!  Do you really need to buy so
many...Ah...pairs of...well - undergarments?'

'Mmmffff!!'

The Doctor set the letter aside, selected another.  'And this one is from
Dr Mallard.  According to this you owe...!  What's this.  five hundred
pounds a day?  Is that right?'

'Mmmmffff!!'

'What's that?  Yes, I know it's a Private Asylum...But even so...?'

The Doctor rose and looked at the little man at his side wearing the thick
glasses and the flyaway grey hair.  'Is this bill correct, Dr
Mallard?'

The little man took it, perused it, handed it back.  'It seems in order to
me.'

'You don't think its a trifle excessive...?'

'Ah!  Doctor, you would not believe the cost of a good leather couch
these days!'

The Doctor looked thoughtful.  Then he glanced down
at Tegan.  'Is she any better?'

'Alas.' The little man made a vague helpless gesture with his expressive
hands.  His thick spectacles flashed with a naniacal gleam.

'I see.'  The Doctor knelt beside Tegan.  He reached out and laid a hand on
her shoulder. Under the thick canvas the flesh was twitching and jumping.
 'It's going to be alright, Tegan.  I'll see to the bills.  You just get
better.'

Tegan was staring at the spring of celery in his lapel.  Its very greeness
compelling the memories, the ghastl memories.

She would have
 liked to have foamed at the mouth, but the tight gag made this difficult.
So she contented herself with thrashing around on the floor and trying to
bite the Doctor's ankle...But the gag...

The Doctor made a non-committal sound in his throat.  He began to edge
towards the door keeping a wary eye on Tegan who continued to thrash around
uttering little gurgling sounds.

 Tegan was not in the padded cell any more. Once more she was
locked in with the Ghastly Green Gloop Monster as it's slimy
tentacles slithered about the two new companions of a few short hours and
almost lovingly ripped off their heads! Then it came for her, coiling and
writhing across the blood covered floor.

It's cold, slimy tentacles went around her in a voluptuous embrace; and she
screamed again.  The eeotid black maw loomed over her, the evil rotten
stench assailed her.  The gnashing fangs worked and clicked inches from her
face.  The mouth closed upon her.

Then, at the last moment, in a conditioned reflex brought about by
years of practice, she whipped out her lipstick, and jabbed it viciously
into the slobbering lips of the creature from hell.

It let out a scream of agony.  It recoiled, dissolving into a think green
slime as the lipstick poisoned it.

In moments it was a pool of green slime congealing on the stones with the
 blood of her recent friends.

Outside in the corridor, the two Doctors listened to the agitated sounds of
Tegan thrashing around in the padded cell.

The Doctor observed a little wryly.  'She was never the bravest person.
But you could rely on her.  In a tight spot there was no "give" in her.  I
remember a time when she would save the world from a monster with an
impressive scream, be a bit wobbly for a while,  but with a chance to sit
down, fix her make up and a nice cup of tea and she'd be right as rain,
whining about how the ichor had spoilt her new shoes.'

Fifth Doctor Index Page.